


Drunken Mistakes with Advantages

by Magikarp_Karp



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Blowjobs, Convincing, Fluff and Smut, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I don't know, I don't..., It's Not Them Don't Worry, Kissing, M/M, Mentioned Abuse, They'll work things out, Touching, don't get drunk, don't marry while drunk kids, giovanni is actually really nice in here?, hate her, he's getting over it, how is this cute?, how?, i have never written smut before, i made it cute and sexy, implied sex, in fact, it just takes some..., it'll be fine, kids are cute, lusamine is a bitch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:46:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25002607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magikarp_Karp/pseuds/Magikarp_Karp
Summary: Giovanni wakes up on his vacation with a headache and someone in his bed. Not surprising, though it'd been a while since he indulged in such activities. More concerning is the ring on his finger and the papers on the table.
Relationships: Guzma/Sakaki | Giovanni
Comments: 28
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I AM ASEXUAL AND A VIRGIN. IF THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH THE GOODS, TELL ME AND I WILL TRY TO FIX IT.

Giovanni woke with a splitting headache. There was a weight on his chest that when he looked down he saw a shock of white hair and the attractive face of a young man.

He brought his left hand up to his head in pain, his right arm pinned down by his… partner. The glint of gold on his finger made him freeze.

"What?" He whispered to not wake the other man.

It was a ring.

_ There was a fucking ring on his third finger holy shit what did he do last night? _

Then he noticed his lack of dress.

The dread poured in as he turned his head to the side table and saw a stack of papers on the nightstand.

His drunk self always remembered a glass of water for the morning.

The water was missing. The papers took up the whole table. He quickly grabbed them.

It was as he feared.

**Certificate of Marriage** was emblazoned on the top paper.

Well.

This could be a good thing? If Giovanni can say he's married it'll stop all those women throwing themselves at him at the galas…

This could be great.

Now.

He set his eyes on the scrunching face of his new husband, who was waking up.

To convince him.

"Good morning to my new husband."

  
  
  


Guzma slowly woke to pain. His head and ass were killing him figuratively. Had he gotten drunk and had sex? He must not have been careful, it'd been a while. Oh Arceus, it hurt to open his eyes. He buried his face in the very firm pillow he was holding.

"Good morning to my new husband." A deep and smooth voice rang out in the silence. It surprisingly didn't set off the pounding in Guzma's head. Then he registered the words.

"What?" The twenty-two-year-old shot up.

His pillow? It had been the chest of an older man with dark hair and darker eyes. He was single-handedly reading some papers while laying there as Guzma straddled his leg. The Skull boss completely ignored his state of dress (or lack thereof) as he snatched the papers from the man's hand and vaguely registered the silver glint on his finger as he stared at the certificate.

"The fuck?" Guzma muttered.

The man sat up, meaning he was a lot closer now to Guzma sitting on his knee. He tapped the papers.

"As you can see, as of last night we tied ourselves together. I don't remember anything leading up to this. Do you?"

Guzma was still staring at the papers. The name Giovanni Accardo caught his eye and brought back the memories.

  
  


_ The man was drinking with only a strange Persian for company. Guzma thought he was rather good looking to be so lonely, even if he was older than the two-toned boss. _

_ He'd taken off the temporary tattoos on his arms and washed off the makeup, leaving him pretty much incognito for the night, one of his rare nights to himself where he wasn't the big bad boss of Team Skull everybody so feared. _

_ Guzma contemplated his drink, a strong rum flavored with coconut, and who knows what else and decided to drain it. He hailed the bartender and grabbed all three drinks to take over to the corner where the lonely man and his Persian were watching the people on the dance floor make fools of themselves. _

_ "Hey," he hailed. The man turned sharp eyes on Guzma that made him shiver. _

_ It was a pleasant shiver though. _

_ The Alolan set the Pokéhol down for the cat and smiled at her gently. _

_ "Mrrah?" She asked. _

_ "They make stuff for Pokémon here. That's for you. And here." Guzma held out one of the other drinks to the brunet with the sharp eyes. _

_ The man watched Guzma carefully before delicately taking the drink from him. He sniffed like some connoisseur before tasting and raising his eyebrow. _

_ "Thank you." He rumbled. The voice was like sex on the ears, deep, dark, and smooth. The Skull boss threw a smirk and sat in the other chair, resting his hand on his knuckles. _

_ "You two seemed lonely. I thought I'd come help with that." _

_ The man chuckled. "That was kind of you. It's not often I get young men giving me drinks though. Was it just company you wanted?" _

_ "Company's nice. Name's Guzma. May I have yours?" _

_ The older man held out his hand. It was smooth except for callouses where he held writing utensils. _

_ "My name is Giovanni. It's… a pleasure." _

  
  


The night devolved into small talk and drinks, Persian disappearing with one of Giovanni's credit cards after she finished her drink. They had sipped through their respective poisons until they were quite drunk without realizing it. Halfway through the night, Guzma stopped being able to recall what happened.

He sat there, straddling Giovanni's leg, staring at the papers in his hands. The older man was giving him time to process the documents.

(Apparently, he'd changed his last name. It was no loss, he'd been sporting his father's name before, which he'd never been happy with.)

"I want a divorce." The words slipped out of the monochrome man's mouth before he thought anything.

"Why do you want that? This isn't so bad."

"We don't even know each other," Guzma stated, feeling a hand rest on his hip and ignoring it.

"We knew each other well enough last night to make the decision to marry. We will just have to work out what made us decide to do so." Giovanni reasoned.

"FUCK that! I want a divorce!" Guzma shouted.

"But... it could be a good thing." The older man rumbled.

"How can you see this as a good thing?"

"Well, I  _ was _ a bachelor. A rich and famous one at that. A ring will put a stop to the prepositions."

Guzma opened his mouth to yell again but then paused. A ring would put a stop to prepositions? Does that mean women would leave him alone? Would  _ she _ leave him alone, if he was married?

The hand traveled up to his waist and gripped gently. Just enough to make Guzma more aware of it. He continued to ignore it as he thought.

If being married would stop girls from throwing themselves at his gay ass things would be different.

He barely noticed as the papers were gently taken from his hands and set aside. The soft hand with the golden ring caught his wrists gently as they began to fall. Giovanni brought the pale fingers to his mouth.

"Will you allow me to…  _ convince _ you? I can see you're still reluctant." Those sharp eyes bored into Guzma's.

Fuck it.

He tore his hands free and buried them in dark brown hair. The grip on his waist tightened in surprise. Guzma forced their eyes to meet.

"You  _ ever _ cheat on me, try to hurt me, or sell me out, and I won't just be gone. I'll ruin you."

Giovanni blinked and took a moment to nod as best he could with the hold on his head. "I promise."

Guzma grinned and let go. "'Kay. Now convince me to stay."

"A bit backward, don't you think?" Still, he lowered his head and began mouthing at Guzma's collarbone, his hands stroking up muscled abs in uneven patterns.

Guzma set his large hands on his… husband's shoulders and tilted his head back. He sighed quietly at the feel of bruises being made in his pale skin as light scratches were made down his stomach.

The older man smirked as his new beau caught his breath at a bite to his jugular. The wandering hands stopped just shy of the black hair between the legs.

"Now," somehow Giovanni's voice had gone even deeper and more rumbly, "what do you want?"

"Huh? Why'd you stop?"

There was a light nibble to a white ear.

"I'm asking what you want from me. I won't touch you in a manner you won't find comfortable. Tell me Guzma," saying his name for the first time, "what do you like?"

"Fuck," the Skull boss panted. Somehow, that little spiel had turned him on more. To be asked for consent in such a voice…

He was becoming hard.

"Is that what you want?" A tongue flicked out under his jaw and Guzma shuddered. The leg under him lifted a bit and gently rocked from side to side.

"Ye-ah, just, ah, do it. Do me." Embarrassingly his voice cracked, but all he felt coming from Giovanni was smugness. The chuckle vibrated straight through the young man and he bucked unintentionally.

"Very well."

Next thing he knew he was on his back in the sheets. His legs were lifted and spread and his darkening member engulfed before he could register the change in position. Guzma shouted, that devolved into a moan, which became whines for more.

It must be the experience of age but Giovanni was  _ really _ good at giving head. There were no teeth, only the tongue that stroked and massaged and the throat that swallowed tightly. Guzma almost didn't notice a finger probing his ass.

Almost.

"FUCK!" He shouted out as he jolted, coming embarrassingly quickly.

Guzma collapsed back, spent. He opened an eye when he realized he'd closed them and groaned at the hungry look on his husband's face. The splotchy blush covering his face spread to his chest as he panted.

"You gonna do something soon? You're not getting any younger, y'know." Guzma sassed breathlessly.

Giovanni removed his hands and slid up, tactfully avoiding touching anything sensitive as he took his husband's cheek in his clean hand and turned him into a kiss. "I can wait," he murmured into the rough lips.

Guzma let his mouth fall open as the taste of himself came with the invading tongue. He realized that Giovanni had swallowed everything.

Fuck that was hot. His husband was the hottest thing he'd ever had the luck to bed. Fuck the age difference, fuck the fact that they were practically strangers, this was good.

...He may be a bit blissed out still.

Guzma reached out and ran his hand through thoroughly sex-mussed hair. He felt the smile as he moved his husband closer and sighed.

Marriage might not be too bad.

  
  
  


Guzma made his way into the Skull mansion to be confronted by his best friend Plumeria.

"Where the fuck have you been?" She asked.

"Go away," he grunted.

"No. Did you get in a fight? You're limping."

"No fights."

Guzma entered his room, not bothering to close the door behind him. He knew Plumeria would just break it open again. He reached for the top button of his purple shirt and began to undo it.

"So if you didn't get into a fight what- holy shit, G!"

He looked over his shoulder uncaringly and turned to face her, dropping the shirt on the floor and grabbing a tank top.

"Dude, you look like you got sodomized!"

He looked down.

Damn, but Giovanni must be possessive. He'd snuck more hickies onto Guzma practically  _ everywhere _ . He looked back at his sister figure, deadpan. "Yup."

She gaped at him as he turned away and inspected the ring on his finger silently.

It was silver, with a little red gem in the center. Big enough to be obvious when looking for it but not to stand out overly much.

His hand was snatched and pulled away.

"Guzma, what did you  _ do _ ?" The pink-haired woman whispered. She traced the ring and had a horrified look on her face. He snorted and shoved her away.

"Got drunk, got married. Remind me not to do that again."

"Marr _ ied!" _ Her voice rose to a shriek. 

"Mhm." He just hummed.

"What about Lusamine? It's not her, is it?"

"What about her? I'm gay Plumes, you think I'd marry a woman?"

"You're gay? I thought you were bi?"

He looked at her hard. "Plumeria, I'm as straight as a circle. I'm not even a line." Guzma said with an exasperated drawl.

"But she-"

"Keeps coming after me? Yeah, we did it once.  _ Once. _ It felt horrible. She was the first and last woman I've ever been with. Knocked me out of my internalized 'at least I'm bi and not gay' shit. I'm gay and I never want to be with a woman."

"I- Guzma what started this? If you didn't marry a woman then…"

"Like I said. I got drunk. And he convinced me to keep it." There was a ping on his phone and Guzma completely ignored Plumeria's sputtering as he checked it.

**I have decided to go to Malie city today. Would you be willing to give me a tour, my husband?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Explanations and Freakouts
> 
> Also Lusamine is a bitch

“Malie Garden is pretty famous for having some big secret about it. Really, you can only see the answer from the air.” Guzma gestured around the large open area.

"And what is the secret?" Giovanni asked slyly.

"Nope. You gotta take an air tour. Then you'll see." Guzma laughed.

Giovanni chuckled and patted the Persian walking at his side. "Oh, well. I don't suppose you'll go with me then-? Ack!" Persian yowled as Giovanni was pushed into her by a blue-haired kid running headlong into him.

The kid bounced off and hit the ground hard as Guzma steadied his husband.

"Oi! Watch it brat!" Guzma shouted.

"Sorry, sorry, sor- boss?" The kid sputtered as he splayed on the ground.

"Oh, Haiku. Having fun were you?" The twenty-two-year-old waved at a group of similarly dressed kids not far off. He picked up Persian and set her on her feet where she began licking her paw.

Haiku nodded rapidly and scrambled to his feet. "Yeah, sorry boss! Wasn't watching where I was going! Ho! I'm Haiku! Sorry for running into you!"

"Be more careful next time," the older man dusted off his clothes.

"Yessir! Gotta go!" The kid began running off when there was a smack and Giovanni gave an undignified yelp. Persian snickered as Guzma groped his husband thoroughly.

"I thought so."

The older man was about to demand what that was about when the two-toned man turned and shouted "Haiku! Get back here!"

The boy trotted back with a confused air.

"Empty your pockets," Guzma ordered.

An assortment of knick-knacks and wallets fell out. Including a familiar one. Guzma snatched it and waved it around.

"You see this? This belongs to him! Do you see him? That's my husband. Watch who you're stealing from, brat!"

Haiku watched with wide eyes as Guzma handed the wallet back to the man in the expensive clothes. He dropped to pick everything back up and shove them into his pockets again while blathering: "Gosh, boss, I didn't know you were married! I didn't mean to, you know I can't help it! I'll try to be more careful! Don't worry, I'll tell the others not to bother you! Are you on a date? You are, aren't you? Sorry again!" He took off.

"Oh great."

Giovanni tucked his wallet away and took Guzma's hand as he grumbled after the kid.

"Boss?" He asked.

"I run a gang. Plumes is taking care of them while I'm with you. I don't know what she's doing though, we don't let the kids out without- oh. There they are. Kukana and Napua are watching them. Even better."

"And… that is a problem, then?" They began walking again, hands entwined.

"Napua likes to start bets. They're all gonna be betting on who you are exactly. If Haiku doesn't just tell them." Guzma looked down at his hand, confused, then decided to leave it. He shook his head, "he probably will. Kid's a chatterbox. But I didn't introduce you so that'll keep them occupied."

Persian stopped and chirped at a store. The two men looked at the Slurpuff on the sign and Guzma smiled.

"You want a malasada?" Giovanni's husband opened the door into the crowded shop for the large cat. The store went silent as his presence was registered.

"You know what flavor you want?" Guzma ignored the silence and how his voice echoed around the room.

"Mmrah!"

"Oh hey, they've got Mythic Malasadas in. Gio, you want one?"

Giovanni, who was glancing around the room carefully at the terrified customers, gently tugged his hand out of the grip and pulled out his wallet. "Get what you want Persian." He moved out of the doorway for the stampede of people to run out of the shop.

"Have a reputation, do you?" Giovanni sent a snide look at the frozen workers who scrambled back to their workstations. Guzma adjusted his jacket that was sporting the Skull symbol and grinned at his husband.

"Only a little."

  
  
  


Giovanni criticized the Kantonian Style Gym Restaurant heavily. Guzma stood back and watched him tear the so-called 'Leader' to shreds with everything he found inaccurate.

"-and finally, gyms specialize in single types. I myself use ground-types to battle those taking their challenges. I give them the  _ Earth Badge- _ "

Guzma finally stepped forward and rested his arm around Giovanni's waist. He looked at the crying proprietor with a smirk and gently rested a finger on his husband's lips. "I think they get it, babe. Let's go."

Giovanni spluttered, "babe? I am not a babe!"

"You're my babe. Come on, I wanna show you something." He kicked the doors open and led the older man out.

  
  
  


The sun set the water on fire as it set over the ocean. Persian chased a Minncino around as the two men sat on the cliff.

Guzma draped his arm across Giovanni's shoulders and pulled him closer, nuzzling into his neck.

"You are very… touchy." Giovanni remarked.

Guzma froze. "I… don't get a lot of positive contact," he muttered. "It's just the kids who aren't afraid to give hugs or high fives."

Giovanni paused, then leaned further into his husband. "I'm sensing that there's more to that than you are saying."

The warm body shuddered. "My dad was abusive. I've been going to therapy on the sly. It's been- better, but touching… I'm still getting used to it again. This… is helping."

"Hmm." Giovanni reached out and took Guzma's other hand in his.

"Perhaps I should tell you about myself a bit, to make this even. Have you heard of Team Rocket?"

  
  
  


Plumeria sat waiting on the Boss's bed. She was tapping her foot with impatience as the door creaked open.

"And what time do you call this?" She asked hotly. Guzma just gave her a dazed look and mumbled something before faceplanting on the bed, making her bounce up and almost off the bed.

"Hey! Get your gay ass up this instant! It's past midnight and I want answers!" She smacked the back of his leg lightly.

Guzma seemed to wallow before rolling over slightly. "I married a mob boss."

"Do what?" Plumeria thought she misheard.

"I just run a gang. How did I find and marry the biggest mob boss in all the regions?" he trailed off into mutters then paused, "at least he's a good honest husband?"

"Um… what? G, what?"

He snorted and sat up. "Okay, everybody low key knows Team Rocket, right? That's like, basics for us. We don't mess with them."

"Yeah? What about them? They're focused on other regions. They don't work here."

"Plumes,  _ the boss was here on vacation. I married the Boss of Team Rocket." _

"...WHAT?!" Plumeria began to hyperventilate. "But, we, but,  _ HOW?" _

_ "I don't know! I thought he looked lonely in a tourist trap bar! I can't remember!" _

Guzma collapsed back and shoved a pillow over his face to scream into as Plumeria didn't even bother with a pillow.

  
  
  


_ Okay, I married well, _ Guzma thought.  _ Maybe a little too well. _

Lusamine carried on about… something something ultra beasts, he wasn't listening.

_ So. My husband is a Boss better than I'll ever be, and he's been doing this for longer than I've been alive. _ He shrugged off the hand creeping up his arm and continued to think.

_ On the one hand, he's rich and famous and hot, so, score. Nobody will be able to go against him without consequences. _ He paused. _ On the other hand, he's the Boss to beat all Bosses. Way more experienced and a lot smarter than me. He was literally raised to be a Boss. Even though he told me most of it's a mask, and he's been a good husband so far... I wonder… what? _

"Are you listening, Guzma? I asked you if you'd like to stay with me for a while to have... fun?"

"Can't." He snapped out and backed away from her quickly. "I don't cheat."

"Huh?" The blonde stopped at this, her hand still outstretched.

Guzma flashed his ring at her, "I don't cheat. It's wrong."

She grabbed for his hand and glared at the high-quality gem set into the silver. "And what, exactly, is this?"

"Obviously? I got married. And I don't cheat. So stop propositioning me please." He leaned away from the sudden rage on her face. "Yeah, I'm gonna go now."

He turned just as Lusamine opened her mouth to scream and ran out the door by the time the first shriek made it to his ears.

"She'll get over it."

  
  
  


Giovanni laughed into the kiss as Persian grumbled and left the room. Guzma almost couldn't keep his own smile from breaking the kiss as he leaned into his husband.

_ It doesn't matter _ , he thought.  _ I'll do my best in this marriage and make it work. _

He gently shoved the older man against the wall and held him there with a knee and a hand, the other hand burying itself into dark hair and stroking the scalp.

_ It'll be nothing like their marriage. _ Guzma sucked on Giovanni's tongue.  _ I won't let him take advantage of me, and I won't try to control him. It'll work out. _

  
  
  
  


Giovanni cradled Guzma's face and turned the kiss into something gentler.

He was being very soft, the opposite his reputation would indicate him of being. No masks though. Not here, or now. And right now, he just wanted to bask in the fact that he had someone who would let him be soft. Let him be kind, without seeing weakness. Someone who would allow him to be something other than the man his mother raised him to be.

Guzma had kids, he knew. Maybe he'd be able to play with them before he left. He could get to know the chosen family of the man he was promised to. Perhaps he could have a fun battle or two that didn't mean anything. Vacation was meant for relaxing, and Giovanni would relax. Let himself go for a bit.

The two-toned man pressed more firmly against Giovanni. Their lips slid against each other as Guzma trailed to the side and down the tanned neck.

"It's funny," he muttered, "I'm the Alolan, and you're the one with the tan. Not fair."

Giovanni burst into deep laughter and Guzma pulled back, satisfied. He smiled at the joyful face of his husband and leaned in to peck him on the forehead.

"How about we just cuddle tonight?" The young man suggested.

"Come on." Giovanni moved away from the wall and led him to the bed. 


	3. Chapter 3

"And where do you live?" The two men were curled up together on the provided couch in the hotel room Giovanni had rented.

"We took over Po Town on the northwest side of Ula'ula Island. It's not big. Just a few buildings." Guzma wrapped his arms around broad shoulders and pulled them closer.

"Oh? And how is it?" Giovanni turned to see the grimace on Guzma's face.

"Pretty bad. The windows are mostly broken, the chandelier fell last month and almost crushed some kids, and did break Pekelo's leg. We were lucky with that one." He sighed and tilted his head back, gesturing vaguely. "The only way to my room now is climbing on the roof from the balcony. And that's just the mansion."

"Mansion?"

"Yeah, the mansion is the only place big enough for all the kids. Some of the adults have their own places in the town but the kids are all in the mansion. We're squatters; even though it's safe there. Old man Nanu protects the kids. He argues that the rent's cheap, but I saw his bills." He grinned at the ceiling, "he's a softy."

"And who is Nanu?"

"The Kahuna of Ula'ula. Strong guy, specializes in Dark types. He has a legion of Meowth that he gives to new kids going on their trials." Guzma realized he was rambling and shut his mouth.

Giovanni was quiet in thought. "...May I see?"

"See what?"

"Your home."

  
  
  


"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! Oh my Mew, CLEAN FASTER!" Plumeria shouted while scrubbing a wall furiously. The mansion was a hubbub of activity as grunts rushed to and fro, sweeping up glass and moving boxes.

"What's going on big sis?" Maila got up the nerve to ask.

"Sweetie, Guzma's husband is coming over for a while. Keon! Grab Pekelo and the kids! Get them out of the way! Don't worry sweetie, everything's fine. Hali'a, what do we have in the way of food?! We need to make a good impression!"

"It's not like the guy's rich, right? Why does this matter?" Kukana rumbled. Plumeria whirled around, wide-eyed and frantic.

"YES HE IS! HE IS SUPER RICH AND IMPORTANT AND G HIT THE FUCKING JACKPOT! I DON'T WANT HIM THINKING BADLY OF GUZMA AND BREAKING IT OFF! GET TO  _ FUCKING WORK!" _

Everybody leaned away from the monster that the woman had become and buckled down.

  
  
  


"Ula'ula Meadow is known for the red flowers that only grow here. Also the- hey!" Guzma was swooped by a horde of Ribombee and Cutiefly. They landed in his hair and on his shoulders, buzzing and giggling happily.

Giovanni hid his laughter as Guzma started shaking his arms. "I don't have anything for you! Get off!"

The swarm took off again and swirled around the other side of the meadow before coming back with company.

"Boss!"

The green-haired man on crutches limped his way across the bridge with a "Plumeria's gone insane!"

"What?" Guzma lowered his arms and stared at Pekelo like he was crazy. "Plumes?"

"She has them scrubbing and cleaning like mad in there! I was only spared because of my leg." He pointed behind him at the clear divide between falling water and dry meadow.

Guzma sighed. "I shouldn't have told her… hey, I'll be back. Wait here yeah?" He hugged Giovanni and broke out into a run, soon being swallowed by the downpour.

"And you are?" The man asked.

The greenet started and almost slipped. "Ah, I'm Pekelo. Nice to meet you…?"

"Giovanni." He held out his hand and a Cutiefly decided to land on a finger. "Ah," he raised an eyebrow at the little bug.

"Giovanni, as in the Gym Leader of Kanto?"

"You are well informed." He spoke to the Bug-Fairy instead of the grunt, gently waving her around in the air. She stubbornly held on.

"Oh, yeah, I like watching battles online. It's about all I can do right now, I'm no good as a guard." He watched the Boss's husband gently play with the little yellow fluff-ball.  _ I think Plumeria is freaking out for no reason. This guy's pretty nice if a little old for the Boss… _ "Hey, how old are you?"

Suddenly sharp eyes trained themselves on Pekelo. He gulped.  _ Okay, maybe that was a mistake? _

"Forty."

The way he shaped the word sounded like a threat. Knives in the back, and a finger caressing his throat.

Pekelo leaned away and unbalanced, yelping as he fell over.

  
  
  


"Plumeria, what the hell are you doing? Stop! Everybody stop what you're doing!"

The cleaning ground to a halt and some people fell to the floor in relief.

"G, we're preparing for your rich husband!"

"Wha-? Is this because he's got money? Plumes, we've been doing fine on our own here! If he wants to help then he can! I'm not pushing him to do it."

"Well you may be fine with this, Guzma, but some of us aren't. Pick that up!" She snapped at a grunt who'd dropped a box in her exhaustion. Guzma came to her rescue and swept the box into his arms as she burst into tears.

"This is going too far Plumeria. If you're that upset with how things are then get out. Driving the grunts to tears, where's the big sister we all know and love? Hey, shush, Lala, you're fine."

"What did you tell me?"

Guzma set a gimlet eye on her, "I get that you want to give Gio a good impression, but I already told him about everything here. He knows, and he wanted to come anyway. That you seem to be set on the fact that I married a rich guy… it's like I don't even know you. Get out until you come to your senses."

  
  
  


Giovanni settled the Cutiefly into his palm. "You're a very brave little one aren't you?" he murmured. She squeaked and hunkered down in his hand like she belonged there. He laughed at her. "I will be going into the rain soon. Are you sure you want to stay?"

The little bit of yellow fluff gave him a  _ look _ and stayed where she was.

"Very well." He lifted his hand to a pocket and tilted her in. He looked up at Pekelo, who had finally gotten himself together, “Will you introduce me to the kids? I’d like to get to know them.”

“Okay, yeah, sure, just… don’t do whatever that was to them, okay? It’s scary…” he mumbled.

  
  
  


“I’m the Sand Guardian, Guardian of the sand!” A girl shouted at the sea.

“Kyogre quivers before her!” Her twin made an outrageous gesture.

The pink-haired girl pointed at the boy standing in the water. “FUCK OFF!”

Giovanni just stared at this ridiculousness. He let out a chuckle that drew attention to him. Haiku skipped to the two adults and yelled at the others “Boss’s Husband is here!”

“Quit memeing, you little memelords, and get over here!” A blond in his late 20s shouted. The kids trudged out of the surf and gathered around the adults.

“Hi, so, I’m Keon. These are the kids of the Team.” Keon waved around himself.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all. I am Giovanni,” the brunet introduced.

There was a cacophony of names as the children and teenagers tried to make themselves heard over the others.

“WAIT!!” one of the boys screamed. It was suddenly silent. “My name is Jared and I’m nineteen and a fun fact about me: I never fuckin’ learned how to read.” The kids started giggling.

“Well, you look awfully young for your age. What’s your secret?” Giovanni humored him.

It was quiet again. “...Do you not know the meme?” the oldest teen asked.

“What is a meme?”

The only thing heard was the drizzle of rain and Keon whispering “oh no…”

Haiku suddenly shouted, “It’s free real estate!” and before he knew it his arms were loaded with the weights of children and teens dragging him under a tree while pulling out phones and pokedexes.

“May Arceus have mercy on his poor soul,” Pekelo whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm supposed to be sleeping but instead I finished the chapter that I had on hold for a while... I hope you aren't upset with me!

Guzma pulled Giovanni into the room he'd claimed and slammed the door shut. They were both soaked with rain, as the drizzle had turned into a downpour while they were on the roof. Guzma was cursing and Giovanni was curiously poking around the room as his husband hunted down towels for them both.

"These are battery-powered?" He asked of the lamps.

"Yeah, no electricity here. We got the plumbing working though, if you want a shower." Giovanni smirked at Guzma digging around in a cabinet. He moved to stand behind him and watched the wet clothes cling to every bit of the two-toned boss.

Guzma moved back a bit to get out of the cupboard, holding the towels and bumped into something soft. He looked down and back to see legs.

"Oi, I can't get out with you standing there," he said, exasperated.

"I'm okay with that." Giovanni still settled his hands on Guzma's hips and pulled him back just enough that he could stand and turn to face his husband to catch him in a kiss.

Large hands buried themselves in dark hair in an imitation of the first morning, with the exception of being there to hold close rather than hold still. Damp lips opened under tongues and slid together in an effort to devour. The wet clothes that clung took away from the whole experience though.

"Shower," one of them muttered.

  
  
  


"So, your friend, Plumeria, was it? Where is she? We weren't introduced earlier," Giovanni mused from the broken-down old bed that was surprisingly still comfortable.

Guzma snorted. "She went nuts, so I kicked her out 'til she comes to her senses."

"Oh?" Giovanni sat up. Guzma was on his 'throne' looking at emails on his laptop. Giovanni took the time to look around properly.

The mansion was old and battered, but there were no leaks and it housed the many children and adults who had chosen to call it home.

"I can have this fixed for you," he offered.

"Nah, don't need it." Guzma immediately knew what Giovanni was talking about.

"...Yes you do. The roof is about the only thing intact in this mansion, and that could stand to be reshingled at well. I wouldn't mind paying for your electricity as well, I have plenty to spare."

"We don't need much here. We've been fine so far. And it's been a few years."

"You said that the chandelier fell and almost killed some people. It hurt that one, Pekelo. Guzma, I don't mind paying for repairs."

"I had this argument with Plumeria. We're fine as we are. We don't need it."

Giovanni narrowed his eyes.

"If you say so."

  
  
  


Guzma stared. "What the fuck is this?"

"These guys just came with some pokemon to use Sunny Day and started working on the mansion. We tried to get info out of them but all they would say was 'it's already paid for, don't worry about it!'" Napua huffed. She and the other grunts had been keeping the children out of the way along with Naneki, the oldest teenager.

Guzma kept staring, slowly growing angry. "Fucking- I told him no!" He pulled out his phone and stomped away to call his husband.

It was a groggy voice that answered. "Yes?"

"I told you we didn't need it! Why are there people doing things to my mansion?!"

"Because it was dangerous to the kids."

"...What?"

There was a yawn. "I felt the floor in places. It was about to collapse by the stairs. There was water damage on the ceiling in the girl’s room, the boy’s room was about to lose the floor as well, the chandelier already fell, and I don't know what else was about to fall. I hired them to fix the pressing issues, not the whole thing."

Guzma paused. "It was actually that bad? I was complaining to complain before!"

"I'm aware of that, but I’m also surprised there wasn't mold with all the rain, Guzma," a pause, "also they're re-wiring the mansion. I set up a contract with a power company."

"The fuck? We really don't need that!"

"It'll make things easier for you. Persian, down." There was a growl in the background.

"I know that this was an arrangement with the usual benefits that come with marriage, but I am beginning to have feelings for you as well, my husband. I don't want you to live in squalor when I can help with that. I want to help. Will you allow me to?" Giovanni questioned carefully.

Guzma was red. He hesitated, before "Fuck, fine, do what you want. I won't beat them up. Jerk."

There was a chuckle. "Thank you, dear."

"Asshole. I like you too." Guzma hung up quickly, turning even darker in color.

He stomped his way back to his subordinates and explained that the workers were fixing all the bad parts and doing electricity because his husband was a sappy idiot.

  
  
  


"Hey, Boss?" Naneki poked their head in.

"Yeah?" Guzma grunted. He was lying on his old bed, in his improved room with its actual lights on the ceiling brightening the walls.

"Some of the kids want to redecorate. Can we all go out and get stuff?"

"Huh?" He sat up. "What do you mean, redecorate?"

"Well, now that we can see the walls, they're pretty bare. And the spray paint is good for small things, but not the whole wall. So… shopping?" they asked hopefully.

"Yeah. We'll all dress casual though. Go tell the ones who want to come."

"Thanks boss!"

Guzma thought about what he'd agreed to.

"Fuck. They're all gonna come."

  
  
  


"I need help."

Words Giovanni hadn't been expecting when he picked up the phone. He pulled it away from his ear to check the number. It was indeed his husband.

"You were arguing against my help just the other day. What is it that you need?"  _ What made you change your mind so quickly? _

"I agreed to take everybody shopping for stuff for their rooms. I need… I need more money… We don't have enough." The words were forced through clenched teeth.

"You know I don't mind, Guzma. Where are you? I'll meet you there."

"Hau'oli shopping district. The paint store called Smeargle's Delights, for some reason."

  
  
  


"Here." Giovanni folded Guzma's hand around a small rectangular bit of plastic.

He'd rented a whole huge boat for carrying the furniture and paints that the kids had gathered. There were strange things like a feathered lamp, a Hippowdon coffee table, a Liepard print couch, a clawfoot tub that Haiku claimed was going to be his new bed… Giovanni had seen that they were going to need a semi and some Machamp in order to take it all to their new homes.

"What? No. This was bad enough." Guzma protested when he got a good look at the credit card now in his hand. When he tried to hand it back Giovanni hid his hands and stepped away. "Hey!"

"I'm going back to Kanto soon."

"Eh?" Guzma paused, the hand holding the card suddenly limp.

Giovanni closed his eyes with a sigh. "My vacation is almost over. I was only to be here for three weeks. I got a call last night from one of my subordinates. They are beginning to panic, without me there. There have been rumors of my defeat and subsequent retreat. Nonsense, of course, but they now exist. Furthermore, the more… amoral scientists have created a new species of pokémon. I need to take control before everything I have them working on is utterly destroyed." He opened his eyes. "I want you to keep hold of that. It's linked to my personal bank account. Use it how you wish."

Guzma blinked at him, then sighed and tucked the card into his wallet. "I'm not using this unless I really have to."

Giovanni smiled. "I expected nothing less."

**Author's Note:**

> Just... whatever. Tell me what you think.


End file.
